


The Way Things Are

by orphan_account



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Self-Denial, post episode 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The kiss was for the camera. It had to be.Or–Yuri has anxiety surrounding the kiss. Victor fixes this.





	

It was just for the cameras.

It had to be, because there was no way Victor Nikiforov would’ve kissed him with meaning. He was completely out of his league. It was almost as if Victor wasn’t in any league. He was too far above that, too popular and rich and talented to be anywhere near Yuri’s level. That was just the way it was, and Yuri had known the moment that he’d developed feelings that his emotions would never be reciprocated. Things worked a certain way, and that was just the way that this worked.

It was all over social media within two seconds, before the two of them even separated on the ice. Before Yuri knew it, thousands and millions of people had seen what had happened, and it was being spread rapidly. As officials ushered he and Victor into the car back to the hotel, Yuri could catch glances at the crowd’s phones, and multiple photos of their kiss was all he could see illuminating their screens. It was all everyone was talking about, he realized, as he caught the whispers of people as he rushed past them in blur. People were grinning, laughing, all looking at him and Victor.

Victor was basking in it, and Yuri didn’t know why he’d expected any different.

(And secretly, he wanted to, too, because the love of his life, his eros, the man who’d sought him out all the way from Russia and facilitated his return as a skater, had just kissed him on the ice, in front of thousands of people and cameras.)

But he didn’t, because the kiss was just for show. A way or surprising him. It meant nothing. It would never mean anything. Victor was so far beyond his league, and nothing would ever come of Yuri’s feelings for him. That was just the way things were, and the way things were always going to be, no matter what Yuri did. In the end, there was no reason to try to get Victor to like him, as any effort would just be fruitless and useless.

“Great skating, Yuri!”

Victor clapped his hands together as soon as they got into the car that was set to take them back to the hotel that they were staying in, and Yuri spared a glance his way to see the usual huge, close-eyed smile on Victor’s face, a grin that he’d gotten used to over the past few months. Victor was acting the same as he usually did, all smiles, grins, and happy words. Again, Yuri didn’t know why he’d expected any different. Victor rarely deviated in his behavior, and he wasn’t acting any different now.

Yuri didn’t reply, instead turning his head to look out the window. The drive had begun, and the car had started to slowly crawl out of the parkway at an excruciating pace. Yuri watched through the tinted windows as they passed fans and onlookers, people who had come to see their favorite skaters, people who were busily chatting to themselves. Most people were paired up with at least one other person, and Yuri could easily pick out several couples, the sight of them opening some sort of pain in his heart as he grew acutely aware of the man sitting next to him.

When Victor put his arm around him, Yuri nearly jumped out of his seat. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary—Victor was known to be physically affectionate with him, but now… Now it was different. Incredibly different. Because not even an hour ago, Victor had tackled him on the ice and kissed him, and now Yuri couldn’t even look at his phone, as he knew all he’d see would be photos and reactions to that very same kiss. He was stuck, essentially, in an enclosed space with the man who was acting as if everything was alright, and the air in the car was nothing but suffocating.

“We’ll have to work on that landing, though,” Victor was close, speaking into his ear, and all Yuri wanted to do was unlock the car door and jump out. In fact, he was currently weighing the pros and cons of doing so. If he did, he could get away from Victor and run away from his problems, but there was also the risk of him dying or getting badly injured. It was just a question of whether or not it was worth it.

He grit his teeth, clenching them together tightly, every muscle in his body pulled tight and taut, his posture rigid, and he was a complete fool to not think that Victor would notice immediately.

“Yuri?” Victor had pulled away slightly, though leaving his arm around Yuri’s shoulders. At least he couldn’t feel his warm breath on his neck or ears anymore, and that was a positive. His mind cleared slightly, but he still didn’t speak or make a sound. A type of silence fell over the car, the kind that Yuri could definitely cut through with a knife, if he so wanted to. The tension was insane, and Yuri felt the tears from earlier springing back to his eyes as he thought back to that kiss, to those soft lips on his, to the image of Victor running in the sidelines for him and only for him, to him jumping at him, taking him down with the eyes of thousands of people watching them…

It hadn’t meant anything. It hadn’t meant anything. It hadn’t meant anything.

(But Yuri would be absolutely lying if he said he wasn’t praying to every deity that it had meant something.)

“Yuri, what’s wrong?” Victor was never one to take social cues into account. It seemed like he constantly ignored them, whether consciously or unconsciously, and while Yuri usually found that—well, endearing—now it was just annoying and grating more and more on Yuri’s nerves until he snapped and—

“What was that?!” Before he could stop himself, he was whipping around, staring at his coach, at those stupid blue eyes and at the stupid soft silver hair, at his stupid pink lips, remembering that stupid kiss. He’d snapped his words out, just short of yelling, and it had clearly taken Victor aback, as those stupid blue eyes grew huge and wide and his posture stiffened slightly, and he finally, finally pulled his arm back from where it had rested across Yuri’s shoulders. Yuri breathed heavily, trying to stop himself, but he just kept talking, the words falling from his mouth in an anxiety-driven ocean of self-hatred and doubt, “Out there on the ice—what was that?! Why did you—You kissed me!”

And the urge to unlock the car door and jump out just grew and grew as he watched the small, almost undetectable smirk blossom across Victor’s stupid face, “You answered your own question, Yuri. It was a kiss.”

Yuri’s fingers twitched with the urge to get out of here, to remove himself completely from the situation. He could, he supposed, demand that their chauffer pull over and let him out, but there was no doubt that Victor would simply follow him, because Victor wasn’t the sort of person to just let something go, especially once Yuri actually snapped. He’d follow him, and he’d bother him, and he’d just drive Yuri further and further down this anxiety-driven hellhole of self-hatred. He wasn’t good enough for Victor, and he knew that, and that was the only conclusion that would come to light after the conversation he’d just gotten himself into.

“I know, but—” A million questions came to his mind as he stared at Victor. The two of them were pushed into the backseat of the car, not much space between them and definitely not enough for Yuri to be comfortable with at the moment. Usually, being this close would be fine—preferable, even—but that was back when his feelings for Victor were a secret and not laid out for the world to see and on millions of people’s phones.

He was at a loss for words, the millions of questions filling his mind, sticking in his throat and making him able to force only one word out into the suffocating air of the car, “—Why?”

“‘Why’?” Victor repeated the word back to him, turning his head to the side, the silver hair on his head brushing against his face and all Yuri could remember was the day he’d put his hand on it and had felt how soft the locks were, and how he’d longed to touch them again. He hated it, the way his fingers itched to reach out a touch him, to run his fingertips over his skin and hair, to just spend time mapping his body out and remembering every curve and crevice. He hated it, because he knew he’d never get anything more than this—this showing off for the camera with a man so far out of his league that there wasn’t even a possibility of a relationship with him.

Victor didn’t speak, and neither did Yuri. They were both silent, the only noise in the car coming from the engine and Yuri’s heavy, stressed-out breathing. The smirk had fallen off of Victor’s face, the joking amusement gone from his blue eyes, leaving him with a completely serious look on his face. He was studying Yuri, his eyes narrowed slightly, and his pink lips downturned just enough for Yuri to notice. Victor was rarely so serious, even during his coachings, and the only thing Yuri could even compare it to was earlier that day, where Victor had told him that if he’d messed up, he’d resign as his coach—and even then, Victor had immediately apologized for saying such a thing. He’d never quite seen Victor like this and above all else, it scared him.

He expected Victor to say a lot of things. He expected him to tell Yuri that it was all for show, for the surprise, for the cameras, and nothing more. He expected him to shrug it off, to tell him that it was nothing, that it didn’t even matter. He expected him to say that it wasn’t a big deal, that it was something to surprise Yuri and the cameras and nothing more. What he didn’t expect, though, were the words that actually came out of Victor’s mouth as they sat in the back of a car after Yuri took second place in Beijing.

“Because I like you.”

That was all he said.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Because I like you.

They were words that Yuri had never expected to hear coming out from Victor. He’d never expected his feelings to be even slightly reciprocated. He’d expected a lot of things, but not that.

“You—” Yuri stuttered, the words sticking in his mouth again, but for a different reason than they had before. This time, it was out of complete and total shock, rather than anxiety-filled thoughts. “—You like me?”

Now, Victor did shrug, blue eyes staring right at him as he spoke, “I thought it was obvious, Yuri. Was it not?”

“I—I—” Nothing would come out, but for the first time since leaving the ice, Yuri’s mind was almost completely blank. All his thoughts from before had disappeared, leaving him with only one thing—Victor liked him. He felt like a schoolboy, with someone who had just confessed to him and in reality, that was what he was. He’d never been in a relationship or even confessed to anyone, much less had anyone confess to him, and here he was, with the best skater in Russia by his side. He almost wanted to say that he was imagining things, but undeniably, Victor Nikiforov had just confessed to him.

“I like you, too!” The words fell out of his mouth before he could even stop them, and Yuri felt the blood rushing rapidly to his cheeks, undoubtedly turning his face completely red. He almost wanted to duck away and hide his face, but no muscle in his body would properly move, so he just stayed put.

That smirk was back, but now, it didn’t irritate Yuri. He stared as Victor smirked and laughed, for once not jumping to the conclusion that Victor was laughing at him, instead hanging on to every word he said, “I thought I was being obvious about my advances. I thought that kissing you in front of a whole stadium of people was pretty overt. I guess I need to try even harder. What should I do next…?”

“No, no,” He honestly didn’t need Victor making it any more obvious. Yuri had just been oblivious, to say the least. He had just been kissed in front of thousands of people. He was just not used to someone having a crush on him at all. “It's—it’s okay, really. I’m just… oblivious?”

“I’d say that’s probably a good description of you,” The smile was genuine, and Yuri couldn’t help but return it, feeling the corners of his mouth involuntarily twitch upwards in response to the grin on Victor’s face. “We should go get katsudon tonight. As a celebration.”

Yuri paused a moment, and then said exactly what came to his mind. “As a date?”

Victor clapped his hands together again, clearly overjoyed with the suggestion, “Yes, of course! As a date!”

And then, everything was alright, for once.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posting on my new account. I take requests on my Tumblr or on here. If you liked this work, please comment and if you're into Tumblr, give [my Tumblr](https://yande-re.tumblr.com) a look-through. Thanks!


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